


Too late.

by IceBreeze



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Drabble, F/F, F/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, The Queen and The Guardian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:51:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6251509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceBreeze/pseuds/IceBreeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life never goes to plan. Love is no exception to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too late.

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling kind of sad and wanted to write about my otp of all otp’s, so the two kind of combined to make this mess.
> 
> No prompt this time, so it's for the renison anon!
> 
> [Send me an Allison/Renee (or another ship, if you so desire) prompt and I'll write a drabble for you!](http://polyhymina.tumblr.com/ask)

The thing about love, as Allison had found, was that for some people it never worked out. She had only ever truly loved someone twice in her life, and neither of those had worked out.

(With Seth it was because of Riko and his bastard cruelty. He’d died too soon, whilst they were still young. Before they could have matured and seen if there was truly a future for them.

With Renee, it was because she was too late).

It had taken her so long to recover from Seth, to accept that she could love someone else and that it wouldn’t be betraying him (betraying herself. She’d always sworn she’d love nobody else and to turn on that was harder than she could accept). 

Throughout it all (the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the days when she could see him in everything and all she could do was drink and drink and drink), Renee had been a constant comfort. She’d always been there, right by her side so they could face anything together, and at some point, Allison had found herself believing that it would always be that way.

(A naive thought if she’d ever heard one).

At some point (she didn’t remember when and she didn’t want to), her feelings for Renee had grown into something more. At first, she had tried to ignore them (she wasn’t sure she could go through heartbreak again). She’d clamped them down in the back of her heart like she often did and continued on with her life with all the strength she could manage.

(But Renee was growing distant, spending more time on her phone and taking frequent roadtrips when she could. It wasn’t unusual- everybody knew that she was worried about Jean and would want to be with him- but something about it felt different this time. It felt like a goodbye).

By the time she had accepted she was in love with Renee and allowed herself to hope that something could come of it, it was too late. She was too late. Renee had already moved on, finding new love and a family with Jean.

(And she was happy for them, she truly was. But whenever she saw them she couldn’t help the pang of longing that she felt and the ever present regret that:

_“It could have been me.”)_

She had buried her feelings deep down _,_ giving the couple all her support and remaining the best friend she could, all the while dying inside because it was her second heartbreak in too short a time.

(It hurt. It hurt. _It hurt)._

She remained by their sides throughout everything, helping her and Dan choose their wedding dresses, taking them shopping when they needed to get away from everything at their homes, buying them things because she could (the money should go towards something good instead of wasting away in her bank account). She was the maid of honour at both their weddings and though it felt like she was breaking inside, she walked with pride because this was her best friends (the woman she loves) wedding and damn if it wasn’t going to be perfect.

(If the tears weren’t entirely happy, nobody noticed).

When the two other woman had children, she was there with them, bringing anything a child might need (and a lot extra, because these kids deserved luxury) and helping advice their husbands on what to do with a pregnant woman. At the baby shower, she gave Renee and Jean both a house in France (she’d known he had been missing his home country and Renee had always wanted to go there, so why the hell not?) and when they asked her to be the godmother, she had cried because never had she been so happy and yet so hurt at the same time.

(She would be a part of those kid’s lives. Just not in the way she had wanted).

And time passed. They all aged, their children grew and things around them changed, but one thing would never change. 

She would always love Seth. 

She would always love Renee.  

And one of them was out of her reach, so she could never help them get the happiness they deserve, but that wasn’t the same for the other one.

She couldn’t be the one to make Renee happy, so she would support her with the one who could.

* * *

 

To Renee, love was a flame that would never truly die. She had fallen in love with Allison at some point during their freshman year, captivated by the unbreakable strength and passion that she wielded like a blade, brandishing it at anyone who dared stand in her way. It had been a small crush, at first, and she’d thought it would soon wear off.

(Oh, how wrong she was).

In contrast to her belief, her feelings for Allison did not fade (because life never goes to plan). Instead, it had grown stronger as she began to watch Allison more carefully and see the little things that were so often overlooked. 

(The way she hides her kindness behind scathing remarks and mock arrogance, subtle in all the ways you wouldn’t expect at first glance. The way she watches more carefully than anyone else, missing nothing and filing it away for later usage- it’s why she’s so good at the bets. The way she doesn’t give up- to her, there is not such thing as a lost cause and as long as she can help someone, she will fight). 

Soon, all she could see was Allison and she had never felt so strongly for someone (sometimes, she had to gush about it to Andrew just so she could breathe). But then Allison fell in love with Seth and there was nothing she could do. (Not that she wanted to, because when Allison was with Seth she’d be brighter. Vibrant in a way that was both beautiful and agonizing). Allison had told her about what happened between them (how he’d saved her. How she believed there was something more in him. How she was certain he could pull through). 

So she waited until her feelings would fade away and she could fully support Allison and Seth without the twinge of longing that haunted her. (Because it wasn’t her right to hold Allison. She wasn’t the one Allison needed). But before that day could come, Seth died and Allison was left an empty shell as grief wreaked havoc on her mind. It hurt Renee to see her like that and she tried desperately to help, to provide her the comfort she needed and remain by her side until she could accept the loss and drag herself back up. She waited, because that was all she could do.

(A lesser person would have taken advantage of Allison’s sorrow to fulfill their own feelings, but not Renee. She couldn’t do that to anyone, let alone the one she loved).

And slowly, Allison began to recover. Her passion returned bit by bit until there was no sign of the husk she was before, and Renee was relieved. She thought they’d be okay. 

But then she met Jean, and she found that she could still love another person (her love for Allison remained strong, but she loved Jean just as much). They grew close, spending more and more time together until eventually, they started a tentative relationship. And her life was wonderful at that point, because Jean was wonderful and she truly loved him.

But for some reason, Allison grew slightly distant after she and Jean started dating. She never brought it up, because she didn’t visibly change- she was still Allison, just with something different about her. Something off. It seemed to grow stronger throughout the years, her eyes hiding pain that Renee couldn’t decipher and it worried her.

(She had hoped that naming her godmother would make her happy, but she couldn’t help the feeling that there was sadness behind her tears).

Yet all she could do was support her. She was there for her through all the bad relationships she suffered through, both men and women alike leaving her angry and tearful as she vented, not showing how truly hurt she was. She was there for her when she said she was going to marry the man her parent’s wanted her to and she was there when she filed for a divorce, giving no other explanation than:

_“If I can’t have love, I’m not going to torture myself by suffering a shithead like that for years.”_

She was there for her even as they were both old and grey, with grandchildren behind them as they wiled their days away as stubbornly as they could (because they’d be fighting to the bitter end).

And through all that time, her love burned strong.

She loved Jean. And she loved Allison.

And though she could only have Jean, she would always be there for Allison. Because she loved her more than anything and nothing would change that.

* * *

 

_(Sometimes, you find a love that seems like it’s from a fairy tale. It’s perfect, it’s wonderful and every second you spend in their presence is precious.  
_

_But nothing can ever be perfect.  
_

_Sometimes, you simply fall out of love.  
_

_Sometimes, a small misunderstanding goes a long way.  
_

_And sometimes, you just realize it too late)._

**Author's Note:**

> Can be found on [tumblr.](http://polyhymina.tumblr.com/writings)


End file.
